This is me, washing. I’m fastidious about keeping clean.
The kitchen is very clean too, because of me; apparently I’m in Deep Disgrace.
My human known as The Gardener got into a terrible flap after he spotted something (just a bit of regurgitated food) in the kitchen and rushed off to tell Her, our other human who never flaps about vomit or indeed evidence of any other bodily function. He thought it involved a stolen bit of apple and blackberry crumble; He went on about it for rather a long time.
She didn’t flap at all, but cleaned it up very neatly, and disinfected the worktop. She was pretty sure that the cat who left that particular deposit was me, as I am the one who likes to leap up onto work surfaces – well, you never know if someone might leave the lid off the butter dish, or leave some of their cheese sandwich lying around, waiting to be found, do you? But I’m admitting nothing; safest that way.
She says he should be grateful that it hadn’t been deposited in his shoes.
What She didn’t tell Him was that the bit of regurgitated apple and blackberry crumble was in fact something much nicer (to me, at least); she knew what it was because of the little bit of mouse fur it contained. And she suspects that I hadn’t touched the crumble – I don’t enjoy fruit as much as I love butter or cheese, anyway.
I suppose I’m lucky in that I have one human who understands.